The Head Elf and the Uber Geek
by MinkeOR
Summary: When the new Santa arrives at the north pole, it's Bernard's job to settle him in. And do the paperwork! Bernard hates paperwork! But he finds a little more than forms and processing in the Hall of Records this Christmas Eve...
1. Section 1

A/N: Okay, we'll begin with the formalities. I don't own anything except for a few characters that will come into play later on. I'm assuming that everyone knows who a couple of the main characters are. You guys aren't stupid after all. This is my first venture into this sort of fan fiction. I'm not very good at it. But there's all these little dramas going on inside my head that I need to get them out. This is one of the one's that actually came out close to what goes on in my cranium. Enjoy! P.S- reviews are always appreciated! (even bad ones!)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
It was Christmas Eve and Bernard was at the end of his rope. This new Santa was turning out to be more of a hassle than he had expected. Most Santa's were unwilling to accept that they were now part of the Christmas magic, but this one was almost more trouble than he was worth. But that didn't change the fact that with a new Santa, came paperwork. A report of accident alone with a thorough profile of the new Santa needed to be filed with the records department as soon as possible.  
  
Bernard trudged through the snow on his way to the Hall of Records, kicking little piles of snow out of the way as he went. He hated going to records. All the elves that worked there seemed to hold some kind of grudge against the world. That and they were nothing but book worms, preferring to bury themselves in the old texts they worked with everyday than come out and enjoy a little fun.  
  
Inside the Hall there was a fireplace like every other building at the North Pole, and like all those other fireplaces there was a fire burning away inside, warming the room to a comfortable temperature.  
  
"Can I help you?" the small elf behind the counter, who was so short that she needed to sit on a high shelf just to reach the counter, said in a halfhearted voice when Bernard approached.  
  
"Yes," he replied, hoping that this wouldn't take him long. "I need to file a report of accident as well as a profile of the new Santa."  
  
The elf behind the counter leaned forward towards Bernard, her interest perked. "New Santa?"  
  
"Yes,"  
  
"Well than, we'll need those reports by 6 pm tomorrow." She said shortly, handing Bernard a slip of paper with some instructions written on it. "Go down this hallway," she said, pointing the way with her pencil, "take the first left at the 16th century, then a right, and then another left. Go through the door and hand that paper to the person inside. But be careful, she can be a bit touchy sometimes."  
  
"Thanks," Bernard said as he walked away. What the short elf had meant when she'd said "first left at the 16th century" Bernard had no idea. Until he looked at the tall bookcases on either side of the hallways. On the ends of the cases were printed in gold lettering different centuries and time periods. They were all out of order so Bernard sighed and walked on till he came to the cases labeled 16th century.  
  
By the time he had found the right century Bernard had forgotten whether he was supposed to go left or right. After a minute of trying to remember he took a left and walked till there was a fork between the cases and a wall. He turned left but found that was the wrong direction when he came to a dead end. Retracing his steps he eventually found the described door and he opened it without knocking. A sure sign that he was thoroughly frustrated.  
  
The sight that greeted him in this tucked away room was one of utter chaos. The room itself was so small that only about five Santa's could have fit in it. That is if there had been nothing inside. But the small room was crammed full of odds and ends. The desk was piled high with thick volumes and piles of manuscripts, some of which appeared to be very old. But the mess didn't stop at the desk. More books and assorted papers were stacked in a chair in one of the corners and some were stacked in little piles on the floor. There didn't seem to be anyone in there and Bernard was afraid he'd gone into the wrong room when a voice came out from behind the stacks of books on the desk.  
  
"Can I help you?" it said.  
  
"Uh, yeah," he replied, suddenly remembering the slip of paper that was clutched in his hand. "I was told to come down here to pick up these forms."  
  
"Where's your paper?" the elf behind the desk stood up and extended her hand to Bernard. He handed it to her and watched as she skimmed over it. She looked to be about the same age as him, but as Bernard knew all to well, looks told you nothing of an elf's true age. Her long dark hair was braided neatly in a single plait but a few strands had come loose and were dangling delicately in front of her eyes which were hidden behind thick rimmed glasses.  
  
"Follow me," she said, taking off her glasses and making her way out of the room and starting down the hallway through the bookcases. Bernard hesitated for a moment before she turned to make sure he was coming. When she saw he wasn't she called him, "Well, come on. Follow me if you want to get out of here quickly." She turned again and Bernard followed this time. They twisted and turned around the cases, moving deeper into the hall, and in Bernard's opinion, getting more and more lost in the process. But the girl knew where she was going.  
  
Finally they came to a great wooden filling cabinet that stretched all along the wall. It was ornately decorated, but could have benefited with a good dusting and polish. Bernard noticed a sign that hung on the wall over it reading: INCIDENTS, ACCIDENTS, AND MISCELLANEOUS REPORTS. Confidential records. Authorized personnel only.  
  
Bernard watched as the girl yanked open one of the drawers, revealing files upon files of papers. She pulled out many papers from a file and handed them to Bernard. Slamming the drawer shut she wiped her hands on her dress.  
  
  
  
"Okay," she began, "for the report of accident fill in all sections except for D, I, and number 3 in section T. For the profile, fill in all sections and then you sign here and here. Have the new Santa sign here, here, initial here, and a full set of finger prints here." Bernard was already confused. "For the accident report, that comes straight back to me. The profile is a bit more complicated. The white copy goes to me, yellow goes to Santa Tracking Services, pink goes to the Emergency Santa Rescue Department, and puce goes to you, the Head Elf." She paused for a moment. "You get all that?"  
  
"Uh." Bernard was so confused. He could hardly remember half of her instructions, and he didn't even know what color puce was!  
  
"Good," she said, leaving him no time to voice his confusion. "All records need to be delivered by 6 pm tomorrow or they will become null and void. If that happens you'll have to redo them all." She turned and started walking away, leaving Bernard with his stack of papers. "Don't forget," she said before she turned the corner, "no later than 6!"  
  
"Wait!" Bernard called, "How do I get out of here?" But he was alone. The girl had already disappeared and he was left to find his own way out. 


	2. Section 2

At 3.30 the next day the reports arrived on Anna's over crowded desk. They teetered carefully on top of the pile before she plucked them down to look them over. All seemed to be in order and she set to work filling in the sections that were required of her. After filling in the time and date of submission Anna moved to the profile. She skimmed over it checking for the proper signatures and her stomach fell when she saw that one of them was missing. Anna knew what she had to do, but she hated the thought. Maybe there was someone who would do it for her, like Celia at the front desk. But she knew Celia would say no, Anna had tried asking her before. It seemed like everyone hated doing it. So with a sigh Anna got her coat and scarf and set off for the workshop. It seemed that her other reports would have to wait.  
  
When she walked through the main doors of the workshop Anna was assaulted by noise and what seemed like complete disorganization. "This is true chaos," she thought to herself. How she would find Bernard amidst it all she didn't know. It had been a long time since she had last been here. She stood there for about 10 minutes wondering whether or not this was a lost cause, when she saw in a corner the green hat, dark curls, and profile of Bernard. Gathering up all her courage Anna made her way straight towards him. But before she could reach him he had started walking away from her! She followed him, trying to keep up but finding that hard with all the commotion around her. She tried her best, keeping her eyes locked on him, but when she looked away for a moment she ran right into a small elf carrying a huge load of toys. They spilled everywhere much to Anna's horror and the workshop went silent as small pieces scattered off.  
  
"Watch where you're going will ya!" the elf said to her, making it known how angry he was.  
  
"I'm very sorry," Anna began but he interrupted her.  
  
"What do you think you're doing running around not looking where you're going?"  
  
"I didn't mean to," she said desperately trying to convey how sorry she was. She hadn't meant to cause any trouble. She didn't even want to be here in the first place. But she had to find Bernard and get that ruddy form signed. Which now seemed impossible considering her situation.  
  
"What is going on here?" Much to Anna's relief this new voice belonged to Bernard.  
  
"She ran into me," the smaller elf said quickly pointing an accusing finger at her.  
  
"It was an accident. I didn't mean to." Anna said defensively.  
  
"I bet," Bernard said, looking Anna over and recognizing her as the records elf he'd gotten the forms from the night before, except there was something different about her. Her glasses were gone again and she looked positively terrified. That was it, she was afraid. He almost laughed, for now their roles were reversed. So he thought he'd toy with her a bit. "What are you doing here?" he said curtly to her.  
  
"I need your signature on this form," Anna said trying to calm herself. This was what she had come for and now she was going to get it.  
  
"I already signed your forms," Bernard said. He turned his attention back to the smaller elf and told him to get the toys cleaned up. Then he turned completely away from Anna and walked away. She followed him immediately, forgetting her fear for the moment.  
  
"Wait a minute," Anna said rushing to catch up. "You forgot one."  
  
"No I didn't. I went over those forms four times and I didn't forget a single one."  
  
"But you did. It's right here under section 4."  
  
"I didn't forget anything."  
  
"Yes, you did." Anna pushed her way in front of him, forcing him to a stop, and shoved the papers under his nose. "Look." He took them reluctantly and looked to where she had indicated. Sure enough one of his signatures was missing and he was forced to admit defeat.  
  
"Do you have a pen?" he said quietly.  
  
"Not with me," Anna replied feeling quite foolish for forgetting such an important tool.  
  
"Come on then," Bernard said as he moved past her to continue walking. "We'll go get this signed." Anna followed immediately. He took her up to Santa's office and signed the form with a fountain pen that he pulled out of the great red desk on one side of the room.  
  
"There," he said when he handed the paper back to her. "I trust that's the last of those you'll need from me."  
  
"Yes," she said. "Thank you."  
  
"You know the way out?"  
  
"Yes." But there was a note of hesitation in her voice and her face showed fear again. Bernard had been wondering about this and he decided to ask her about it.  
  
"Why are you afraid?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What are you afraid of?"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"From the moment I saw you after you had run into that other elf I knew something was wrong. The look on your face told me so." He paused for a moment and added in a quieter tone, "I saw it in your eyes. Now what is it."  
  
"I don't like coming to the workshop if you must know."  
  
"Well that's obvious. Why do you not like it?"  
  
"Why do you want to know?"  
  
"I asked you first." There was a tense silence that followed while the pair stared each other down. Finally it was Anna who broke it.  
  
"Fine," she said, fighting back tears. "You really want to know? I hate coming here because this is where my father was killed in an accident." Bernard remembered that day. It was the only time in the history of the workshop that an elf had lost their life while working.  
  
"That was your father?" he asked, wishing that he hadn't pushed the issue.  
  
"Yes," she replied, refusing to meet his eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Everyone's sorry. But that doesn't change what's happened. That doesn't change the fact that he's dead. So just forget it." She left the room in tears and Bernard watched her go without another word. All the rest of the day he couldn't stop thinking of how he'd upset her. The look on her face when she'd left the room hung with him, no matter how hard he tried to forget it. He tried to think of some way to apologize, to make things right between them. But like she said, he forget about just saying sorry because it just wasn't good enough. 


	3. section 3

It was nearing 2 in the morning when Anna switched off the light in her office and headed for home. She had left reluctantly, giving in after nearly falling asleep with her head propped in her hands. The corridors in the Hall of Records were pitch black at this time of night, but she had spent so much time here she knew the layout by heart and in no time she found herself outside in a gently falling snow. She burrowed her face deeper into the thick scarf wrapped snugly around her neck and set off.

Her encounter with Bernard that day in the workshop was still fresh in her mind and she shuddered, an action having nothing to do with the cold. It had been so long since she'd thought of her father's accident, it separated her life into the time before and the time after, two periods that stood in stark contrast to each other. Her father had been a master craftsman in the wing of the workshop that was responsible for all the woodworked toys that were to be delivered each year. He had garnered a healthy respect from those who had worked with him and admired his ability to bring to life the little figures in the wood.

Anna was the only child of her parents. Her mother had died during childbirth and her father raised her on his own, rejecting the social norm of taking another wife after the death of his first. He loved Anna fiercely and she returned it with as much ardor as her little self could muster. Her appointment to the Hall had come to them on the day she came of age. She had come home from an errand that clear afternoon to find the envelope sitting neatly on the doorstep. When she shared the news with her father she saw a shadow of disappointment flash over his face. But it was quickly replaced with joy for he knew that it was what she had wanted and never again did she ever get any indication that he did not support her.

For a while life was perfect. Anna loved her work and devoted herself whole heartedly to it. But then it had happened. The sky was devoid of clouds on that afternoon, with the sun disregarding the events that were unfolding before it. Anna had been engrossed in a book, desperately searching for an elusive piece of information, when the elf who had worked at the front came into her office and told her there had been a accident. She'd rushed to the workshop, forgetting a coat in her haste, and found her father lying on the floor, crushed under the weight of the sled.

The night was the coldest of her life. It began a period in her life that was to prove as destructive as if she had thrown all caution to the wind and was living life to its excesses. She drew into herself and devoted her every waking hour to work, the one place she could be alone. She pulled away from everyone she had ever known, and shied away from any sort of social interactions. There was a kind of comfort to be found in the work she did. It numbed her feelings, and caused her mind to focus on something other than the memory of her father.

But now there was this day, this day she had gone to the workshop for a signature. And it had turned her whole world upside down. She'd become comfortable in her chosen isolation, and her encounter with Bernard had shocked her out of it. At home she brewed herself a cup of peppermint tea and settled down in an overstuffed chair and massaged her temples in an attempt to ease the throbbing that was between them. But it was to no avail. By the time she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion, her head still ached and she was no closer to having shaken Bernard from her thoughts.


	4. Section 4

Anna wasn't the only whose conscience was bothered. Bernard was tense in the days following, even more so than usual. Judy tried many times to break him out of it, but no matter how much she applied herself, he continued to stalk about the workshop, snapping at anyone who even drew the slightest hint of his displeasure. Finally after nearly a week of this, she cornered him in his office, with the idea of getting it through his thick head that his behavior was ridiculous.

"You can't just go around, flying off the handle at every little thing!" she was yelling. He was sitting with his arms crossed over his chest and was staring at a pile of paperclips in the middle of his desk he'd been playing with when she'd come in. "If you hadn't noticed, you've been putting everyone on edge around here. The newbies are afraid to even breathe to loud, they think they'll be in trouble. I don't know what your deal is, but figure it out quick." She paused for a breath, and changed her tone to a quieter one. "I want the old Bernard back," she said with a sigh.

He looked up at her and she noticed for the first time how tired he looked. It was evident that he hadn't been getting proper sleep, but for how long she wasn't sure. "Are you finished?" he asked, his voice remaining expressionless, something she'd never heard from him, she was taken aback. She listened closely as Bernard recounted Anna's visit to the workshop and even though she know knew the source of Bernard's ill mood, what struck her most was that he was this bothered.

"Well, I must say I am surprised," she murmered more to herself than to him.

"At what?" he replied impatiently.

"Oh, it's just that I've never known you to get so worked up over making someone cry."

"This is different."

"How so?" The question hung between them in the silence. Bernard loved Judy but hated her at the same time. He loved working with her and she'd become like a sister to him, but he hated the way she knew him so well.

"You know," he whispered, not meeting her eyes.

"It's different because she's different. Am I right?" When he didn't answer she leaned back in her chair and smiled to herself. "You're silence is very compelling evidence, Bernard."

"Oh, shut up." He said, putting his head in his hands and willing his head to clear. He knew how he was going to have to do, but he was dreading doing it. He took a deep breathe and let it out slowly before standing up to gather his coat and scarf. "I have to run an errand." He said more to himself than to Judy.

"I'm sure you do," you said, watching him closely. "Just let me know what she says!" she yelled after him as he left the room and shut the door on her.


	5. Section 5

In a place like the North Pole, snow falling from the sky wasn't an unusual event. Even though it happened everyday without fail, Bernard still stopped and watched it at times. It gave him peace to know that something was so common. That long after everything he had ever known in life had disappeared, snow would still fall at the North Pole. He watched it that night, standing beneath the lamp post outside of the Hall of Records. He'd been rehearsing what he was going to say to her for a few days now, but at the moment, watching the snow fall, everything else seemed so far away.

In an unusual move, Anna decided to leave work early to go home and nurse the headache that had been plaguing her for a while now. She packed her bag with a few papers that could easily be completed at home, before switching off the light in her office and heading out the door. Outside, she looked down at the street corner, and was none to happy to see Bernard standing there, watching the snow fall. She stood there for a minute, wondering if she should just turn around and hide back in the building. But he seemed so distracted, maybe he didn't even notice her. She decided to take her chances and walked briskly down the stairs towards the side street that led to where she lived.

"It's lovely," Bernard said, as she passed close to him. She pretended not to notice him and kept walking.

"You know it's polite to awknowledge someone when they talk to you." He said, a bit of annoyance in his voice.

"What?" She replied, stopping in her tracks and turning back to look at the elf who had so recently been staring at the falling snow.

"I said something to you, and it's polite to awknowledge that."

"Um, sorry." She said, staring at him unbelievably. There was just no end to how much he could get on her nerves. "If you don't mind, I'm not feeling well so I'd like to go home now if that's all right with you."

"Oh, it's perfectly fine," he said, "How about I walk you home?"

"No, I promise that won't be necessary…" she began to say but he'd already come up to her side and was glancing around the square.

"So, which way do we go?" He put his hands in his pockets and looked at her expectantly. Anna rolled her eyes and walked determinedly away from Bernard. He walked beside her, looking all around at the still falling snow. As they walked Anna glanced over at him a few times, annoyance brewing in her every time that she did.

"What are you doing?" she asked finally, turning to look at him.

"Watching the snow," he replied, his voice sounding obvious, like Anna had just asked a rhetorical question.

"No," she said, exasperated. "I mean what are you doing here. What are you doing walking me home."

"It's late, and I thought you might like some company."

"Liar." She said quietly, looking him square in the eyes. He stared back at her, neither one saying a word.

"Ok, fine." Bernard said, his voice resigned. "I wanted to come and apologize to you for what happened in the workshop."

"Oh," Anna was caught off guard at his honestly. But to tell the truth she didn't know what she expected from him. Her notions of him were so ill conceived as they came from a single encounter in one place. Maybe she should give him a chance. At least she could give him, and herself, forgiveness for what happened.

"Yeah, I'm sorry as well. I shouldn't have over reacted."

"It's ok, I shouldn't have pushed you."

They stood in the oppressing silence for a bit, Anna fussing with her bag and Bernard glancing everywhere but at her. Finally she laughed. It was so absurd, this whole situation them standing in the middle of the night, but she laughed none the less. It was the first time in a long time that she had smiled like that. But it felt good. He looked at her full on, and took in the changes that laughter had on her features. It made him smile as well.


End file.
